Are relationship performance reviews a good idea?
It may sound strange to have a “relationship performance review”, I mean that sounds like a work thing not a relationship thing.
Well, any area of your life that you want to be EXCELLENT, could be a great place to look at what is working, or what is missing that would elevate that area, so why not your relationship?
Below is a recent interview I did for ABC news on the subject. (just click on the photo of my husband Michael and I)
If you want to experiment with a relationship review here are the steps:
- Schedule it in your and your partners calendar so it is not out of the blue. (I recommend weekly but you could do whatever works for you.)
- Always start with what is working (i.e. It really worked when you kissed me goodbye yesterday, I request we make a promise to always kiss each other goodbye in the morning.)
- Then go to what seems missing that if you added would make a difference in the quality of your relationship. (I don’t think we are spending enough time alone together, I request we set up a date night every week so we are guaranteed alone time.)
- The look at what didn’t work (i.e. On Wednesday when we went to bed after an argument, that didn’t really work, I am promising I won’t do that again.)
You want to leave the review with promises and requests.
Every promise and request can create new practices in your relationship that elevate the quality of your relationship and impact the results you produce as well.