Ending the swirl of suffering

Today, I want to discuss a concept that can deeply affect our emotional well-being: gaslighting. Recently, I had a conversation with someone who felt gaslit by his medical professionals. However, upon closer examination, it became clear that what he experienced wasn’t medical gaslighting. His doctors had simply communicated that his wound was healing in a normal way and he needed more time to allow himself to heal.

When we perceive situations through a distorted lens, it can lead us to believe we’re being gaslit when, in reality, we’re interpreting neutral or factual statements through the filter of our emotions and fears. This misinterpretation can cause unnecessary suffering and resentment.

When you’re caught in a swirl of emotions, it’s crucial to distinguish between what actually happened and the story you’re telling yourself about what happened. For instance, in the medical scenario, the factual event was that the doctors provided their professional opinion. The emotional interpretation was feeling dismissed or invalidated, which led to feelings of being gaslit.

To prevent this kind of emotional suffering, it’s helpful to separate the facts from our interpretations. Ask yourself: “What actually happened?” versus “What am I saying about what happened?” The more you can separate these two, the less you will suffer. This approach can be applied to any situation—whether it’s a misunderstanding in a relationship, a setback in your business, or even dealing with health concerns.

Remember, it’s not the event itself that causes distress; it’s our interpretation of the event. When we live as though our misinterpretations are reality, we trap ourselves in a cycle of suffering. By stepping back and viewing situations objectively, we can free ourselves from unnecessary emotional turmoil and live more peacefully.

Let’s play a game this week to clarity and objectivity in our interpretations and reduce the emotional burden we place on ourselves.