Stop telling people what to do…..it rarely works anyway.
We’ve all experienced it, persistent complaints about employees or partners not delivering what we need, even after multiple attempts at explaining. How often have you said, “I’ve told them six times, and they’re still not getting it”? Whether it’s a team member in your business or a loved one at home, this common frustration begs the question: Have you truly trained them, or have you simply told them what to do?
Many of us, when frustrated, assume that repeated instructions equal effective training. But here’s the truth: if the results aren’t there, the training wasn’t effective, no matter how many times you’ve said the same thing. The issue isn’t necessarily the individual; it might be the way we’re approaching training.
Training vs. Developing
There’s a key distinction between training and developing someone. Training often stops at teaching someone what to do. Development, on the other hand, involves teaching them how to think, equipping them to see from your perspective and come up with solutions you may not have considered.
Consider this: when you tell someone exactly what tasks to complete, you’re giving them a roadmap. But what happens when the terrain changes, and there’s no roadmap? Without development, they can’t navigate new challenges or think beyond the original instructions.
The Limits of Task-Oriented Training
Let’s look at a common scenario: you’ve noticed that a webpage isn’t converting well, so you give detailed instructions on how to fix it. It’s clear, step-by-step guidance. But what happens when the same issue arises on a different webpage? If the person you’ve trained can’t identify similar patterns or suggest new approaches, you’re stuck repeating the same instructions over and over. As Chris Sands pointed out in a recent conversation, we often find it easier to train people for repetitive tasks, but struggle to develop their thinking to go beyond those tasks.
A Shift in Training: Developing Thinkers, Not Just Doers
To shift from merely training to true development, you need to stop telling people what to do and start asking them what they see. Here’s a simple but effective approach: when you encounter a problem, instead of immediately prescribing a solution, invite the other person into the problem-solving process. Ask questions like:
- “What do you see when you look at this?”
- “What would you suggest we do about it?”
One practical method to develop independent thinking is what Dan Martell calls the 1-3-1 method: present the problem, ask them to come up with three possible solutions, and then choose one to recommend. This shifts the focus from completing a task to thinking critically about it.
Capturing and Reusing Development
Another key to sustainable development is recording the training process. By capturing these developmental conversations, you create a resource that can be revisited, saving you from repeating the same process with every new person. Imagine having a library of recorded problem-solving sessions, allowing new team members to understand your thought process without you having to explain it every time.
The Real Question: Why Aren’t They Doing What You Want?
If you’re consistently frustrated by someone’s inability to deliver what you want, it’s time to ask yourself: Have I truly trained them in how to think from my perspective? If the answer is no, then the issue isn’t them—it’s the approach to training.
Take Action
Try this in your business or personal life:
- The next time you find yourself frustrated, pause before repeating the same instruction. Instead, ask, What do you see?
- Implement the 1-3-1 method for decision-making: present the problem, ask for three possible solutions, and have them recommend one.
- Record your developmental conversations to create a reusable resource for future training.
In doing this, you’ll move from managing doers to developing thinkers, and, in turn, you’ll find that your complaints about incomplete work or unmet expectations begin to disappear.
Let us know how these shifts impact your interactions! We’re here to support you as you build a team of independent thinkers, not just task-doers.