What are you tolerating?
Last week I was coaching a founder who was furious.
At his team. At his finance department. At the pace of execution.
But underneath the frustration was something much simpler.
He wasn’t tolerating people.
He was tolerating the absence of systems.
When leaders say, “I’m tolerating too much,” what they usually mean is:
- There’s no clean feedback loop.
- There’s no visible scoreboard.
- There’s no shared definition of “done.”
- And they’ve quietly become the only one tracking breakdown.
So they get resentful.
And here’s the part no one wants to hear:
If you are the only one who knows the standard… no one can live up to your silent standards.
Tolerance spreads when expectations live in your head.
Performance rises when standards live in the system.
Your frustration is data.
It’s not proof that your people are incompetent. It’s proof something structural is missing.
And structure is designable.
Action Steps
- List 3 areas where you feel frustrated right now. Instead of asking “Who’s the problem?” ask: What system is missing here?
- Define “what done looks like” in one sentence for each of those areas. If you can’t describe it clearly, no one else can hit it.
- Install one tiny reporting loop this week. Not a massive overhaul. Just one consistent check-in structure.
Frustration is not a character flaw. It’s a design flaw waiting to be corrected.